We are in times in which the fabric of our political, social, and ecological systems are unraveling. And yet, great revelations are taking place through the collapse. The Greek root of the word apocalypse means “to uncover, to reveal, to lift the veil.” We are collectively being asked to face and witness what has been hidden or normalized—like histories and systems of patriarchy, colonization, and white supremacy that spring from myths of separation—so that healing and repair can begin.

In our recent Resilience and Possibility conversation, Hilary Giovale, author of Becoming a Good Relative, offered a powerful and deeply human pathway forward. Grounded in humility, truth-telling, and love, her example and life’s work invite us into a practice of remembering and reweaving our relationships with the Earth, with each other, and with our ancestors.

The Amazon Sparked a Lifelong Inquiry

Inspired by a Pachamama Journey decades ago into the heart of the Amazon with Pachamama Alliance, Hilary’s encounter with the Achuar and the rainforest sparked a lifelong inquiry into how she might participate in changing the dream of the modern world. She started by turning toward her own people and the legacies she inherited as a ninth-generation settler in the United States.

For Hilary, this became an initiatory journey when she began researching her own ancestry and uncovered painful truths—generations of ancestors who participated in and benefited from colonization and enslavement.

From Shame to Relationship

She speaks candidly about moving through grief, shame, and overwhelm—and the importance of not getting stuck there. These emotions are important gateways back into wholeness, but they are not the end of the story. Through embodied practices such as ritual, movement, drumming, and weeping, she found ways to metabolize these feelings and move toward something deeper: accountability, relationship, and ultimately, love.

One of the most powerful insights she offers is that healing is not about punishment—it is about coming back into relationship. It is about becoming a good relative. While facing these histories can be uncomfortable and hard, the work can also be joyful as we weave ourselves back into the fabric of life.

Through guidance from elders, Hilary was introduced to practices for connecting with her ancestors, beginning with the simple act of building an altar.

One of the most accessible practices she shares is simply to go outside, sit in one place, make an offering, and listen.

Over time, this builds relationship, and through that relationship, guidance begins to emerge.

What began as angst transformed into a profound sense of connection and even forgiveness.

This may seem paradoxical, but as she shares, her journey into forgiveness freed up the energy that had been trapped in shame and self-judgment, allowing it to be redirected toward healing and meaningful action.

What Is Mine to Do?

This shift led her into the practice of reparations as a daily personal commitment. She describes the joyful accountability of creating a “personal reparations plan,” guided by her ancestral legacies, the sacred mountain near her home, her personal relationships with Indigenous communities, and her heart’s calling. Whether supporting Indigenous sovereignty and land rights or addressing racial inequities in maternal health, the question she lives into is: What is mine to do?

In a world in which the crises can feel too overwhelming to change, Hilary also offers a grounding reminder: we have power.

We are not alone, and we can draw strength from the Earth and our ancestors through small daily acts—offering gratitude, tending an altar, feeling the sun on our faces, listening to the land.

Each of us has a role to play in transforming legacies of harm and domination so that we can co-create a world in which all life can flourish.

Becoming a good relative is a lifelong practice.  

As poet Mary Oliver asks:

“Tell me, what else should I have done?
Doesn't everything die at last, and too soon?
Tell me, what is it you plan to do
with your one wild and precious life?”

If you would like to read Hilary’s incredible book, you can buy a copy here.

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